Yesterday, one of my friends was celebrating her birthday at a fine Mexican restaurant in lovely Old Town. As we scanned the menu for our meal choices, we came across the option of a Child Hamburger. We were taken aback by this. Not only did they offer a hamburger made from child but they had a photo of a child similar to the one you'd receive in your meal.
We were curious about this selection that sounded repulsive and yet somewhat appetizing. We inquired with our server and she told us that the meat was grade A, free range and organic. They didn't use invitro children. Hmm, good to know. When we mentioned the oddness of the menu item she quickly assured us that it was actually quite a delicacy and served primarily at 4 star restaurants.
I'm sure you're asking yourself, "But where do you get the children?" We wondered the same thing. But do you really care? If it's that tasty do you really want to know? In fact no one actually does know.
According to our waitress, there's speculation they only use children that are delinquents. It helps lower the costs of juvenile facilities. There's also rumor that the higher end restaurants consider child hamburger made from celebrity children quite the bonne bouche. They prepare it using methods from Escoffier's lost cookbook on, you guessed it, cooking children.
After all this we were ready to order hamburger d'enfant but as chance would have it, they were clean out. Damn. Next time.
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