You Know You're an Art Nerd When...

Ah Halloween. That special time of year when people can dress as their favorite movie character or fictional monster. It's also, oddly enough, a time when people can dress scantily clad.
My good friend Jabba the Hut was having a birthday party and guests were invited to wear costumes considering it was so close to everyone's favorite haunted holiday. What to wear? I was at a loss. I visited my local seasonal costume shop. As I surveyed the walls covered in barely there costumes, I was uninspired. Sure I could dress like Little Miss Slutty Nurse or Pirate Wench but I didn't want to pay exorbitant prices for small rectangles of cloth. Hmm, maybe I could dress as someone from history, maybe an artist I like. That got me thinking, 'Why stop at artist? Why not art piece?' And so it was. I decided to dress as Yoko Ono's Cut Piece. Who doesn't love an interactive costume?
I headed to my favorite thrift store and found a black dress and white slip similar to the ones in photos documenting her first performances of the work. I hung some scissors (safety ones, mind you) around my neck and a tag stating 'Performance Artist'. I initiated a few cuts to my garb and let my roommates have a go. Then off we went to Jabba's!
At the shindig, a few people were confused by my wardrobe which I expected. I explained the piece if they insisted but otherwise merely asked them if they'd like to cut my clothing and take a piece. Some guests were enthusiastic and others concerned which I suppose was the point. Anyway, it was fun and different and I wonder what I'll do next year. A living painting perhaps. Any ideas?

In a Beach House with a Grizzly Bear

I recently discovered a band that I just love, love, love. A friend has passed on to me this amazing fan video for a band I hadn't heard. After that I gathered up what music from them I could find like a little squirrel storing for winter. I realized they were coming through SD and kept meaning to get tickets. Finally I clicked over to the Belly Up's website to purchase my way into heaven, but I was too slow on the draw. Sold out!
After a week of brooding, I received an email notification from Sezio. They were having a contest to win tickets. This was it. My big chance. All I had to do was make a collage with the following items: grizzly bear, beach house, belly, me and a poodle (just because). A fervor took over me as I set out on my mission. I finished and hit send. Then I waited. The day of reckoning came and I'd assumed I didn't win the prize. There was so much more I could've done with it! Much to my pleasant surprise I did win. Yes! I'd secured a night of musical delight!
A delight it was. Aside from the milling in and out of the extremely crammed front audience area by douchebags holding glasses of douche juice, Shangri-la had descended upon us. Beach House sang sweet lullubies then Grizzly Bear ended their tour with enchanting melodies. Ahhhh.

I Think it Finally Stopped

Remember when car alarms first entered into our lives? That array of annoying sounds meant to scare off would be carjackers or alert car owners their precious vehicles were in danger. Were they ever useful? They've at least changed over the years to a simple honking. Regardless I still question their usefulness. Does anyone stop and take notice anymore if they hear one go off? No. Most of the time a triggered alarm happens because a bird landed on the roof, or another car drove by too fast. So why do we still have them?
Last night a car in the immediate area was sounding off. Yep, it was one of those older ones that followed the pattern of irritating buzzes and sirens. It went on. And on. And on. And on. Finally it stopped and I thought I'd be able to sleep. No. It was merely a brief pause in the pattern. It continued like this through the entire night. Don't they turn off at some point? By morning I was begging for someone to take the car, steal it, do whatever, just stop the friggin' alarm!
When I eventually got myself out of bed to face the world, my roommate was in the kitchen with the same sleep deprived angry face I had. I was not alone. This comforted me. We discussed our belief that only people with old cars no one would actually steal use that alarm, so they are in fact pointless. Just then, it started, AGAIN.
I screamed out, startling my roommate who hadn't even noticed the aggravating cacophony resumed she'd grown so accustomed to it. I began muttering and looking about for a bat to take with me as I planned to find the source of this fracas and take care of it myself. Well, someone must've heard me because, believe it or not, it finally stopped. Peace. Quiet. Sigh. Though at any moment I almost expect to hear the din start again.

Magic 8 Ball is for Suckas!

That's right, I said it. Don't get me wrong, over the years I've counted on it for some decisions I just couldn't make but was it really helping, or just toying with me in an absurd pun? I've never owned a Magic 8 Ball. Instead I had a rip called The Magic Orb (if I remember correctly). It was prettier, a lovely lavender with the same concrete yet simultaniously vague answers. And that's where my dilemma with the sphere of jumbled predictions comes in. You ask a question and it gives either a 'yes' or 'no', but more often a 'reply hazy' or my favorite to hate 'ask again later'. If Magic 8 Ball and it's clones really wanted to help out they'd offer up info on things we might not know but would be beneficial to us.
Case in point, a few years ago I lived in Canada. I happen to live within walking distance of Second City's Toronto location. At the time I wasn't involved with comedy improv, but I am now and am DYING that I didn't take classes while I lived so conveniently close. You think my little Magic Orb could've helped me out a bit by saying "Hey, you know, Second City is just over on Mercer. Why don't you go try some classes? I think you'd like it." If these arrogant globes of wisdom were so all knowing, they'd know that I'd eventually start doing improv and could've helped lead me in the right direction.
Imagine all the things your Magic whatever circular thing could have helped you out on. Instead of it giving you the 'yes' to go out with Jimmy, it could've said "Yes, go out with Jimmy if you like guys that date mutiple girls for short periods of time. Have fun!" Or "No, don't go on that expensive yet absolutely amazing trip that will change the rest of your life." Sometimes just a yes or no suffices, and sometimes we just need a 'maybe' to get us thinking about things a little more, but man would it be great to just have a wee bit more information.