(Not So) Bomb House Burn

The house in Escondido that was found to have 'a record-size cache of explosives' was set fire this morning just before 11am. A girlfriend works in the area and I live only a few minutes away from the property on Via Scott so we devised Operation Bomb House Burn. Our mission was to find a location to watch the burn while lunching. We rendezvoused at the Target shopping center on Valley and Auto Park Way. Soon we hit the road traversing back streets that led us closer to the plume of black smoke. Most of our keen ideas were thwarted by road blocks. Damn. With luck we found a road that wasn't blocked, or so we thought. It was the perfect spot just across the freeway to catch the remnants of the planned blaze. We rejoiced but that soon vanished as we turned the corner to go up the hill and saw the police blockade. Looks like this mission had reached its end point as lunch hour was running out and my friend had to be back at work. Ah well we thought. Little did we know all the excitement would be happening in the Target lot. As soon as we pulled in to get back to my car, the cart collector became distracted and a runaway cart careened toward us narrowly missing us. We turned a corner and a wild-eyed shopper veered into our side of the lane, which required more evasive driving on my friend's part. We could hardly sigh relief when another holiday customer roared around a corner nearly front-ending us. Finally we were able to park, safe and sound. Don't go to planned house burns if you're looking for action. Just hit your local Target parking lot during the holidays, you'll get more than you bargained for.

Wild Hipsterdom?

This morning my eyes were caught by the headline Scientists discover new bearded monkey. Yes, it's true, a new species of Hipster Monkey has been discovered in the Amazon. Read for yourself.
The scientists seem to focus only on the monkey's red beard as it's main distinguishing factor but other accounts have reported seeing them swing from trees sporting skinny jeans. Another tells of one monkey sipping Charles Shaw while reading Bukowski.
My question to the scientific community: Is the jungle ready for hipsters? Other animals have voiced concerns such as gentrification of their habitats, and increased noise levels due to indie bands forming.
Only time will tell.

Special Moments

So as you might have noticed (my 6 subscribers) I've been a bad girl and haven't posted a new entry in quite some time. It took something inspirational to get me writing again.
Walking back to my car from a loft party in Downtown, I shared something special with a stranger. My car was parked on 3rd & A Street where a number of homeless reside by the pay parking lot. As I approached I could see a man helping someone (couldn't tell if it was another man or a woman) who appeared inebriated to walk over towards a light post which, naturally, was directly next to my car. As I drew near, it became clear the person being helped was another man and his friend helped him lean on the post for support. I didn't want to disturb them so I walked quickly to zip around them as they were almost blocking my car door. While passing, I looked over and saw the man had his pants down and was in the process of evacuating. That was something I didn't need to see. I knew right away that image would be burned into my memory for some time to come. Daintily I said excuse me and jumped in my car as fast as possible. The man doing the deed let out an anguished, "Oh great!" in response to my presence. I felt bad. He was embarrassed and bare assed. I drove away wondering if there was a port-a-potty nearby they could use to avoid future encounters. The strange thing was, I felt a certain connection with the man, not because I witnessed a personal moment but because we were both thinking the same thing, "This person just had to be here right now." It took a man defecating in front of my car for me to realize, life has it's special moments.

There's Some Parties You Just Can't Crash

Last night after my improv troupe's performance we hung out at the venue for some carousing. Apparently they had some sort of private shindig following our gig in the main room, so we were ushered into the 'party' area. When we were ready to leave in search of late night grub, we noticed all the attendees of the current soiree were college kids of Asian decent. Our jealousy set in. A hip DJ was spinning some fine dance tunes and we wanted to cut a rug, but boy oh boy did we stick out. Unlike other affairs where a simple change of wardrobe or a few key words could do the trick and slide you right into a happening bash, nature worked against us and 'party crasher' was smeared on our foreheads. It got me thinking about all the places I couldn't sneak into: Mancaves, Senior Bingo Night, the NY BBW Cougars of Color Meetup Group outings. If only I knew Dr. Crusher on Star Trek. She could make me over to be whatever I wanted. Imagine all the entertainment to be had. Sigh.